D I A N E : PATRON SAINT OF DALSTON

When in Vietnam, who needs cultural dance performances and boozy nights in karaoke booths when Star Movies provides even the cheapest rooms to rent with back-to-back Diane Keaton films?

Upon closer inspection of these intellectual studies directly exploring the true nature of the human mind (I refer to 'Country Baby' in particular), one shocking revelation was made - Diane never ever shows chest. In fact, she goes out of her way to ensure every polo neck and shirt is tightened to its limits for maximum neck-cover.

Her followers are many, but true devotees make the pilgrimage to Mecca - D.A.L.S.T.O.N. The acronym standing, obviously, for Diane Always Loves Shirts Tight On Neck. As a follower, I decided to interpret this peaceful religion in illustrative form:

C A T T U R N S 2 5 .

Ah the limits of helping someone celebrate a quarter of a century when you live in separate capital cities. Resourceful as Caarat is, a solution was created with as much speed and precision as Kraftwerk on a pocket calculator. Don't let the barrier of space limit your messages of adoration on a special day. Simply take some paper, write a message, take some photos whilst wearing a silly bobble hat in iconic parts of the city you live in, upload them onto your computer, send to your friend via email, then post the very banner you have created to their physical address. Simples.

T R Y T H I S .

When lost for activities to amuse, try this with a friend:
- take 2 sheets of paper each
- take a good biro (Cara's weapon of choice) or a black ink pen (If you are called Cat)
- Study your friend's face
- pick up your drawing tool and sketch your friend's face without looking down at the paper
- laugh at the result
- Take the second sheet of paper
- Wipe your chortle-induced tears and pick up your pen again
- This time, draw your friend's face with the hand you do not usually use to draw or write with
- Here lie our results...